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Parenting Mental Health / Gratitudes  / Daily Gratitude with Suzanne

Daily Gratitude with Suzanne

Hello, you!
 
Can you believe it’s Monday again, and just 18 more Mondays until Christmas! 2020 has definitely been messing around with the fast forward function, hasn’t it?
 
This is our Gratitude post and the 754th day we’ve met here to find the things we’re grateful for. It’s like a Pot Luck Party where you bring what you have – so join us with whatever you’re grateful for…being alive, cake, your dog. We don’t mind what!
 
The benefits are that after 21 days you’ll feel a shift happening. So many of us are, and I hope you’ll join our merry band!
 
If gratitude is too heavy, take the lighter path with Simple Pleasures – sunshine, tea, a hug – or generate the feeling of positivity with a Magic Moment – a memory that brings a smile.
 
As it’s Monday, we set our intentions for the week – what do you want to do, be, create or feel over the coming 168 hours? Share in the comments and we’ll have a check in on Thursday.
And, as ever, if you need help, ask – and if you need support, share the 🌻 and we will wrap you in the warmest of virtual embraces.
 
I loved your replies and comments yesterday – I needed to answer those questions ( even though I don’t think I did answer all in the comments!) and I hope you got something from it too.
 
One of the reasons I wanted to ask them – and indeed, answer them – was because sometimes we need a little reset; a reminder that we can carry on down this path if we choose to, but we can also choose to wander off through the undergrowth to another path just in sight, or we can forge our own.
 
I read the book ‘The Road Less Travelled’ when I was about 30. I was trying to make sense of telling my father that I didn’t want to/couldn’t see him any more. This book really spoke to me, and showed me that sometimes we have to go through, we can’t go round, to make change or solve our problems. For me, going round was allowing the relationship to continue, desperately upset, regularly let down, constantly questioning my worth, routinely told I was loved but not wanted. How does that even work? And I needed to go through.
 
Anyways…
M. Scott Peck writes so calmly about confronting the challenges we face, and how we can grow our self understanding if we don’t avoid resolution. Thinking about it, this book was probably influential on the first stage of the Partnering, not Parenting method – acknowledge what you’re going through so you can begin to move towards acceptance.
 
Anyways… I am properly rambling today but there is (hopefully!) a point.
 
M. Scott Peck also asks us to consider if our perception of life is true to reality. It’s easy to get entrenched in ways of thinking and to behave in a way that supports our reality, rather than the reality.
 
While we may need a therapist to unpick and unpack the differences between our reality and the reality, there are some simple ways we can take the alternative view and see if we can be more open. Why should we? Because being open gives us greater connection, better communication, and brings us closer to our truest, freest self.
 
So how do we do it, Auntie Suze? 3 ways…
 
1)Meet your own needs – be heard, be supported, be cared for. Without our own batteries being supercharged, it’s nigh on impossible to be empathetic, or challenge the opinions we hold dear. What do you need to be topped up? Is it your emotional, spiritual, physical or psychological self care? How can you fill those tanks today?
 
2) Set down your need to be right – the only way we can ever challenge ourselves is when we’re happy to be wrong. I know how hard criticism can be. If you’ve suffered any form of abuse – and by abuse I don’t only mean emotional or physical abuse, I mean ‘low level’ stuff – not being heard, being ridiculed, being overlooked or diminished. This can lead to defensive responses and a need to be right. That need to be right can lead us to hold onto dogma and to not allow ourselves the space to explore. Even typing the word explore gave me a little jolt of joy! I love exploring my emotions and finding out more about myself.
 
3) Listen – proper listening is an art form! So often we listen to respond, and if you look at someone in conversation, you can often see the cogs of their mind willing the other person to finish so they can say what’s in their head. No consideration that they may learn something by listening, no respect for the other person’s right to that space to speak. If you’re going to have a conversation where you’re going to learn, whether it’s with your child, partner, or other family member, go to it with an empty head. Write down everything floating around beforehand. Get out any gripes, as well as the things you missed from the grocery list. Listening to someone is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. And who knows , you might even learn something! 😉
 
This week, I’d love you to challenge yourself on your reality. “What’s really going on?” is one of my favourite questions, and I can’t answer it if I’m stuck in my truth. Sometimes, we have to let go of our truth so we can see the alternatives. We don’t have to take them on board, but we can take them for a test drive.
See you in the comments later – have a happy Monday.
 
PS I didn’t expect to write about this today, but hope there’s something in it. Some days the fingers type what they want!

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