Daily Gratitude with Suzanne
2 September 2020
It’s Day 2 of Soul II Soul – back to life, back to reality – for many of us! How is Wednesday feeling? Ready to get going or go back to bed? Either way, this is your space to share – your worries, questions, and fears as well as your wins, highs and optimism. Spread some love around today and if you read something on here that resonates, give it a like or send a word of encouragement.
I’m waking today after 8 and a half hours sleep! Yesterday was physical tiring with lots of driving, and lifting and cleaning and I came home and didn’t want to talk or move. Just eat and sleep.
But the emotional side wasn’t as heavy as it was last year. Last year, I sobbed the whole way home, feeling like I’d lost Issy forever whilst the delight and pride jostled for attention after all she’d endured and overcome. I needed to refill and that took quite some time.
We talk a lot about self care in this community and its importance, and this helps us to manage our emotional energy levels.
Dr. David Hawkins discovered that emotions have measurable energy that can nurture or damage cells. He found that a person’s measurable energy level in their magnetic field goes up when they experience positive emotions. He also discovered that when that energy goes below 200 on his ‘log level,’ cells in the body actually died. Anxiety, shame, despair, blame and humiliation all reside under 200, which is why making a move towards moderating our emotions is so powerful for our overall health and wellbeing.
Removing stress from our lives as parents who have experienced things we shouldn’t isn’t as straightforward as stepping away from the cause of the worry. So, how do we fill ourselves up when we’re depleted?
- Recognise how you’re feeling – what is the emotion you’re carrying? And try and unpick the nub of why you feel that. Is it because you blame yourself? Is it because you feel impotent? Is it because you feel you’ve failed? Whatever arbitrary conclusions ( which will 99.9% be wrong!) you’ve come to, sometimes it’s important to see them and explore them. What would any of us have done differently? How else could you have dealt with it? Journalling, talking and walking, talking and driving, can help to form your thoughts and package up the senses into something you can pop into a box and set down. I know I carried blame and shame for a long, long time. And it’s not helpful. And it really can be as simple as reflecting on it and deciding that you can’t change what you’ve done, only what you will do. As Maya Angelou says, when we know better, we do better.
- Get out in nature. Take your shoes off and ground yourself in the grass. Breathe in the air. Look at the changing colours. Nature is bigger than us all, and despite plagues and famines, it keeps on keeping on. Give your worries to nature today. I know, they’ll be back in your head by tea time, but it’s a start!
- Create processes. What drains away your emotional energy? Is it the fight over food? Issy lived on Big Macs for a year. She’s alive and healthier than she was. And no, I’m not proud but it was better than fighting and it kept her alive. Is the fight over tidiness? Let it go, until you’re in a space where you can come up with practical and empathetic solutions; or in the meantime, tidy it up! It doesn’t mean you’ll do it forever. These are extraordinary times. Make a list of the stresses and stressors and try and remove or reduce them. If you find your partner is on the list though, that’s a whole other conversation!
- Create rituals. I used to listen to the radio with a cup of tea every day to set my day off. Now, in my new house, I watch my tree as the kettle boils. I write this gratitude post. I set my day off on my terms ( unless I oversleep like today and then I’ll know I’ll need a little reset at some point!) What rituals can you add to your day? What can you do that is nurturing for you? Hot chocolate before bed? An hour’s catch up on the soaps? Whatever it is, make it yours and build it in so you have time to escape the thoughts and fill your tanks.
And of course, another great ritual is gratitude. Join us today for the first time or the 761st, and share 3 things that you’re grateful for. If that’s hard, share 3 that bring you joy, or make you smile, or remind you of better days. But please start. So many of us have found the benefits of gratitude and connection here.
If you’re facing a challenge today, share a and we’ll wrap you in hugs. And if your child has managed to get into school or college or not, share that too. We’re here for you either way.
Happy Wednesday! See you in the comments later.